Schrödinger's Amnesiac Theory
by FLTTW
Summary: A fanfic I wrote for Hazelra7's fanfic! A missing scene maybe? Have fun with this angsty oneshot.


**Hi-lo! So this is a little companion piece I wrote as a fanfic for _Hazelra7_'s fanfic; _Paroxysmal Paradox_! Fanfic-ception... Anyway, you should seriously check out Hazelra's stories and if you haven't read any, where have you been?! I suggested the idea in a review and I got a reply saying that I could collab... So here it is! Bon appetit?**

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><p>Sheldon watched Amy's eyes gently close as she lay in bed beside him. He hoped with all his heart that she would remember. Remember today, remember tomorrow and never forget any moments he had with her. It was like a nightmarish never-ending loop, and he never knew if she would ever remember anything again. Though at the same time he was grateful for Amy's memory lapse when she woke up this morning; he didn't want her to know that she cried that hysterically, was so fearful.<p>

_Amy had taken her medication and was leaning on him, on the sofa whilst he endeavoured to complete any smidgen of work on his laptop. _

_"They're some serious equations that you're doing." __She snuggled into the side of him and he felt her tuck her arms under and closer to herself._

_"I'm finished, I really can't produce any quality work this late. Are you cold?" His tone had been permanently soft and gentle since her injury._

_"Yeah..." She whimpered like a mouse. _

_"You must be tired, and you'll need sleep for your body to recover. C'mon, let's go to bed." He attempted to stand, but Amy enforced her full weight on him, keeping him down. _

_"No, I'll go myself and you start your work..." She rocked forward and trembled as she stood. Sheldon grappled her hips on instinct to stop her from falling._

_"Amy, I just told you that I finished..." He swallowed back the catch in his throat and reminded himself to research the medical history of her family. He closed his laptop, stood and put his hand around her waist to support her._

_"No! I'll do it myself!" She dug her nails into his hand as she pushed him away and he had to admire that her prideful personality still shone through. Restraining himself, he held his hands up to show that he'd removed them and motioned for her to go on. Amy wavered forward on her first step. He went to help her but halted as she regained balance. Hobbling to the step before the hall, lifted her foot once then shied away. It was painful to watch her try it one last time, tripping on the ledge and collapsing to the floor like a dropped sack of potatoes._

_"Amy!" He picked her up by the waist but immediately dropped her weight with a thud. "Jeebus!" He tried as hard as he could, with all his strength yet he couldn't get her more that a few feet from the floor. In the end he gave up. He thought about placing a pillow under her head and covering her limp body with Leonard's duvet. **But what if she wakes up on a cold, hard floor and blames me? What if she always remembers? **_

_Her hand was bend backwards under her, looking as if there was any more weight put on it and her wrist would break. He gently pulled it out from under her. He stared at her hand for a moment, wondering if what he was about to do would be considered safe. With a shrug, he picked up her arm and began dragging her by it to his room. _

_Her legs made a deafening squeak like new trainers against the wood and he realised that he may have just given her beautifully bare legs stingy friction burns. Sheldon grabbed a blanket from his room, rolled her onto it and found it was easier to transport her from the hall. _

**_Now how do I get her on the bed? _**Maybe_ he was stronger than Howard and Leonard, but that didn't mean he could lift the weight of a fully grown woman. Physics couldn't save him either. All the worldly knowledge of force, pressure, pascals and pivot points meant nothing unless you had the proper means to apply them; which wasn't a stringy, 6' 3'' nerd who was not in possession of a pulley system. And Sheldon was already sweating through his t-shirt._

_Turns out, as luck would have it, she awoke with a cough just then. _

_"Amy!" He pulled her shoulders up to avoid her choking._

_"Sheldon? What happened? How long have I been asleep?" She seemed much more alert that she was when she collapsed. Maybe it was just a passing notion associated with the drugs she was taking, or more worryingly, her injury._

_"Only about ten minutes, or as long as it took me to drag you from the hall to here, which felt like hours."_

_"You had to drag me? Where did I fall asleep?"_

_"You literally **fell **asleep, onto the floor in the hall. Are you feeling better now?"_

_"Oh... Um, I'm feeling better now. Still very, very drowsy." She looked like she was nauseous though._

_"Would you be able to make into the bed? I can't lift you."_

_"I think." He helped her up like he was going to help her off the sofa, but this time she accepted his assistance._

_She insisted that he allowed her to sleep in her own clothes - no matter how scratchy they were - in case she had to go to the hospital in the middle of the night and didn't want to be seen in her hand-me-down nightgown. Sheldon changed into his usual Sunday pyjamas and got in beside her._

_'Goodnight', they both said at the same time. Sheldon rolled over and turned off his lamp. It was pitch-black for the longest of times but still Sheldon couldn't sleep. He needed to hear Amy breathing, and was too disturbed by recent happenings to peacefully drift off. _

_Amy shifted on the bed and he heard a raspy intake of breath. In less than a second Sheldon had the lamp on and was checking on his girlfriend._

_"Amy, are you okay?" She had the blankets tightly pulled over her head and Sheldon nudged them slightly. **Is she crying?**_

_"It's fine." Her voice was muffled._

_"It's obviously not! Please let me help you..."_

_She wept a little longer before speaking up. "I saw your calender." **No, no, no...** Like a shot she was out of the blanket and sitting up. Meeting Sheldon's eyes with a saddened yet furious stare. "Did you plan on telling me that I haven't been able to recall any of the last few days?"__  
><em>

_"Amy-"_

_"Sheldon, I don't want to forget!" With that exclamation she buried her face in her hands. "I only wanted to wear the clothes I have on now so that they may jog my memory tomorrow... I'm sorry that I lied... But today was amazing! You kissed me and you were so nice to me, you showered with me... Penny even brought me my favourite kind of pretzel. I can honestly say that this was the best day of my life and now it's going to be wiped from my memory."_

_"But you won't forget." _

_Amy dragged her sleeve under her runny nose. "Don't sugar-coat it. Please. Just keep me awake, I want to think back on today, tomorrow." Sheldon felt like he was following the wishes of someone with a terminal illness, with only the time until she sleeps to live. In that time he wanted to do everything with her, take her everywhere, give her everything he could afford, and then more. But she was too weak to even go down the stairs with her current level of energy._

_In a way, it was like a person dies when she goes asleep. An Amy with those experiences and feeling stored in her. If Amy slept, the Amy of today would be dead by tomorrow. No matter how much satisfaction he got from kissing her over and over, until that final day when she remembers, he's kissing someone who's dead. So he has to make each and every day count, because he doesn't know until the curtain ascends on a new day, if she'll remembers the day before. **Schrödinger's Amnesiac Theory.**_

_"Okay Amy. I'll do everything to keep you awake, and you won't sleep until you become comatose." He could feel his eyes glazing over with tears that he refused to let fall in her presence._

_"Thank you so much!" She pulled him into a bone-crushing hug which he didn't return. **But I will make this her best day. **So he hugged back, fully and whole-heartedly. His head buried in her neck and breathing her in. **Please don't leave me in the morning.**_

_They watched marathons of shows they had to catch up on. Even though Sheldon had watched them with her yesterday, and the day before that, but she didn't know. He made them food, and got her energy drinks that had been in his cupboard for several years and never touched. He shook her to keep her awake and she would kiss him gently on the cheek every time for doing so._

_The same thought kept playing in his head as it approached 11:45 PM. **Those suffering from head trauma can suffer major, long-lasting heath problems if severely sleep-deprived during recovery. **And it felt selfish to give her a condition for life, like epilepsy, just so that he could enjoy this version of Amy for a little longer._

**_No. She. Will. Remember._**

**_No, I have to face it. She won't._**

_It was like he was arguing with his teenage self. He stared down at her as she watched the screen with his tear-filled eyes._

**_She has to sleep._**

**_No! Please don't sleep. Every time I've spent a day with you, then you forget, a little part of me dies too._**

_He jumped up, hand covering his eyes, just as the cooker beeped and the pizza was done. Amy was too weary to even register his odd movement or his obvious jerking shoulders as he faced the cupboards in the kitchen with is hands gripping the counter. _

_He finally picked up a cloth and retrieved the pizza from the oven._

_"Sheldon, can I have some Sprite? I feel like I need something zingy to waken me up a bit more."_

_"Sure." His tone was emotional and broke in the middle yet was unnoticed._

_He cut the pizza into six, three for each of them, just the right number. Opening the fridge, the Sprite was right there. He took out the chilled bottle and opened the cupboard for a glass. In it, straight in front of him, blocking his view of the glass, was three bottles of medication all prescribed to his girlfriend._

_The third of these three read in capital and bold; **WILL INDUCE EXTREME DROWSINESS, ONLY TO BE CONSUMED WHEN SUPERVISED, IN SOME CASES RECIPIENT MAY PASS OUT, NOT TO BE TAKEN BY THOSE SUFFERING WITH ASTHMA, HEART CONDITIONS OR EPILEPSY.**_

_One side of Sheldon's brain repeated that it was the right thing to do, as he dropped three into her glass and they hissed and dissolved. The other one dominated by 'hippie feelings' cried and chanted 'No!'. He was functioning in turmoil; weeping but proceeding with what needed to be done; destroying himself but going through with it._

_"Pizza!" He wiped his eyes and carried over their food and her drink._

_He watched her eat. She ate one piece, the pizza succeeding in keeping her awake by occupying her. She began a second slice but set it down after one bite to take a sip of her drink. _

_He placed his hand over her drink. He wanted to see her a bit longer._

_"You've started that bit, may as well finish it before you take a drink."_

_"Okay..." She wondered what kind of logic he was applying but was too tired to argue._

_He used a napkin to wipe some sauce from her mouth and she smiled back with gratitude._

_Finally her second slice had come to an end and he noticed he hadn't eaten all day. _

_He could stop her from drinking again, but then she might really become suspicious. _

_He had to stay true to his word. _

_She lifted the glass to her lips just as he called "Straw!" and she distanced the glass. "What?"_

_"You need a straw so that the lemonade bypasses those shining teeth of yours!"_

_"...Of course, what was I thinking..." She looked even more sceptical but let him return with the black straw nonetheless. She raised the straw to her lips and gulped the beverage back. Sheldon almost ripped the knees of his trousers with his stressed grip. But she didn't notice anything, and he hadn't stopped her. He'd killed that Amy, and the chips were about to fall._

_She was so thirsty that she'd gulped the whole glass in one go. _

_"Sheldon, did you put something in my drink?"_

_"No! No... No, no. Why would you ask that?"_

_She used the straw to stab around in the bottom of her glass. "It's just that there seems to be some odd white residue in the bottom of my cup..." He suddenly threw his arms around her. Not only to avoid answering the question, but to say goodbye to her._

_"Sheldon! What did you do?!" She was trying to wriggle away but he had the tightest grip she had ever felt._

_"I don't want to go asleep..." Her voice was loosing volume. It felt like he was slowly suffocating something. _

_Her struggling lessened until she was almost lifeless. "I don't want to go to sleep... You said you would keep me awake..."_

_"Shhhhh..." He kept saying. "I'm sorry."_

_Then he leaned back from the embrace, laid her down, wrapped her in a blanket and kissed her goodnight._

He hoped with all his heart that she wouldn't remember. Remember today, and forget those moments he just had with her. It was like a nightmarish never-ending loop, and he never knew if she would ever remember anything again. Though at the same time he was grateful for Amy's memory lapse when she woke up the next morning; he didn't want her to know that she cried that hysterically, was so fearful.


End file.
